Can Openers – The Most Neglected Survival Tool?

I recently saw an episode of the “Survivorman” series (I have a LOT of respect for Les Stroud). He was given a ‘surprise’ item by his crew – a survival kit sealed in a can, with a pop-top lid. Mr. Murphy was laughing that day,so, of course, the aluminum tab broke off in his hand. Les was not defeated, because he had a can opener on his multi-tool, and laughed about it. It made me think. In an emergency situation, how are you going to open those food cans?

1. An electric can opener. I have never liked these. Big, noisy, and if the power is out, make a great paperweight. If my hands get stiffer, I may reconsider this preference.
2. You can do it “John Wayne Cowboy Movie”-style by pushing/pounding a knife blade through the can top and ‘cutting’ it off. The can will be opened. You will probably cut yourself on the jagged edges. Your knife is now useful as a prybar, but don’t call it sharp.
3. Use a Swiss Army/Boy Scout/Multitool can opener blade. If the blade doesn’t lock, you can bet it will fold up on you and pinch you painfully every damn time. Leaves almost as jagged an edge as the Bowie knife.
4. The military-surplus P-38 can opener. THE best piece of kit that Uncle Sam ever issued. I have had one on my keychain since 1971. When the 100-packs go on sale at SportsmansGuide, I pick one up and give them away to friends and family. One in every kit/pouch, etc. I have. It’s STILL a much better screwdriver/prybar than a can opener. The new P-51 version is bigger and might be easier on older fingers. It works, but still a lot of effort and still leaves a jagged edge than can cut you.
5. A cheap grocery store/megamart hand can opener. The rotary version of the p-38. It costs 3 bucks,works ok, sorta, mostly.
6. A medium-price grocery store/megamart hand can opener. The 6-8 dollar version. Instead of a wedge, a round steel cutting blade. These leave non-jagged edges. Instead of something that will just rip your skin and make you bleed a bit, now a nice sharp edge on the can-top and inner edge that can REALLY cut you deeply like a straight razor..
7. My choice: A “Safety” can opener. About 10 bucks at the same grocery store/megamart. Instead of a blade that cuts down into the can, the cutting edge is mounted at 90 degrees to the can, and cuts through the rolled metal lip of the can, not the top itself. I stick one of these in every tote that has cans in it, just in case. I have one ‘dummy-corded’ to my catering kit, because they seem to ‘walk away’. A note: these DO NOT work on standard aluminum beer/soda cans because of the curve below the lip. Use a stick or something to knock-in the tab. An old-school “churchkey” opener isn’t a bad idea as a backup, either. See below for warnings.

OK, so why pick a 10 dollar tool instead of a 10 cent tool?
I have ‘em all (except the electric). My P-38’s are everywhere – GREAT multitaskers, and sometimes, you go with what you have. Mr. Right There, not Mr. Right. Ideal? Not even close.

1. No sharp edges to rip up your hands. If you have never had to use 4 bandaids, 3 nitrile gloves and half a roll of PVC electrician’s tape after opening a can of beans with a borrowed can opener at a Chili competition, this may not seem like an obvious advantage. It is. No Crap. Other people don’t want your blood in their lunch.
2. The can top and the cutting blade doesn’t go into the can. Instant top for leftovers. (store safely). Was that can being run over by mice and roaches for a year? Was it soaking in post-hurricane sewage-laden water? Did you sanitize the cutting blade and the can? Guess what? Your canned food is no longer pasteurized.

Keep safe. We’re all in this together.

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